Showing posts with label Love and Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Love and Sex. Show all posts
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Before Having Sex For The First Time - A Few Questions
Blue collar Catholic priest gives some earthy advice on human sexual behavior and responsibility. He shares with the viewers a series of questions his own father asked him when he was in 7th grade and what they taught him about responsibility .
How To Get Out Of Sex
When he's in the mood and you simply aren't, here are some tips for fending him off and getting out of sex.
Step 1:
Keep your wits about you
You're vulnerable from all sides, so stay alert. He will try various tricks to break down your defences. Flattery, emotional blackmail, or manipulating you with a primitive display of his wares. But make your feelings clear and be firm. No thresholds are being penetrated tonight, no matter how wriggly his tail is or shiny his chromosomes are.
Step 2:
Find an excuse
If he's still knocking on your membrane, then you need to come up with some killer lines to dampen his enthusiasm, such as:
I'm really tired, I've been travelling for hours…
It's the wrong time of the month
I'm already fertilised
I'm actually just on my way out
I've just fertilised myself thanks
or you could call his bluff.....
I'm at my most fertile- let's make some babies!
Step 3:
Turn him off
You may find he's still trying to navigate a way around your excuses. So turn yourself into an unappealing prospect, by
Dressing frumpily
Starting a row
or
Filling his mind with disturbing images
Step 4:
Alternatives
If your man is still set on crossing your channel, you'll have to use all your cunning to distract him.
Appeal to his competitive nature and start a game of I-Spy
Expend his energy with alternative physical activities
or invite some friends over for some polite conversation.
If after all this he's still on your case, just deck him.
Step 1:
Keep your wits about you
You're vulnerable from all sides, so stay alert. He will try various tricks to break down your defences. Flattery, emotional blackmail, or manipulating you with a primitive display of his wares. But make your feelings clear and be firm. No thresholds are being penetrated tonight, no matter how wriggly his tail is or shiny his chromosomes are.
Step 2:
Find an excuse
If he's still knocking on your membrane, then you need to come up with some killer lines to dampen his enthusiasm, such as:
I'm really tired, I've been travelling for hours…
It's the wrong time of the month
I'm already fertilised
I'm actually just on my way out
I've just fertilised myself thanks
or you could call his bluff.....
I'm at my most fertile- let's make some babies!
Step 3:
Turn him off
You may find he's still trying to navigate a way around your excuses. So turn yourself into an unappealing prospect, by
Dressing frumpily
Starting a row
or
Filling his mind with disturbing images
Step 4:
Alternatives
If your man is still set on crossing your channel, you'll have to use all your cunning to distract him.
Appeal to his competitive nature and start a game of I-Spy
Expend his energy with alternative physical activities
or invite some friends over for some polite conversation.
If after all this he's still on your case, just deck him.
Male Infertility
How common is male infertility?
Male infertility is actually quite common. Of all the people trying to conceive that have been unable to do so, approximatley 40% of the cases are responsible in some way to the man. One out of every 8-10 couples experiences difficulties trying to conceive, so if half of those cases are related to the man, then you're talking to 5-10% of the male population may have trouble conceiving with his wife, which is exceptionally common.
What causes infertility in men?
There's a large number of causes or reasons for a man to experience fertility problems. One of the most common things is something called a varicocele, which are varicose veins around the testicle. Other issues could be obstruction or blockages in the reproductive tract. There could be hormonal issues. It could be issues with age, it could be issues with environmental toxin exposure, with heat exposure, with chemicals, with drugs, with prior surgeries. There are a numerous variety of things that can cause damage to the sperm. We are still learning every day about all the different things that can cause fertility problems for men.
What causes blockage of sperm?
There are numerous things that can cause blockage of sperm or blockage of the reproductive track. You can be born with a blockage, a condition called congenital absence of the vas deferens, meaning being born without the spermduct or tube called a “vas,” that a doctor cuts when he performs a vasectomy. The testicles make sperm as normal but the sperm can't be released because there is no tube or no "plumbing" so to speak. Another issue that can cause blockage of the sperm tube is a vasectomy; which is designed to cause a blockage so that a man can't impregnate a woman. He might later change his mind and decide he wants to conceive again. There are issues such as infection, chlamydia and gonorrhea for example, that can cause blockages to the reproductive tract. There can be cysts or disorders of the prostate that also can cause blockages for sperm, so there are numerous things that may cause an obstruction.
What is "varicocele"?
A varicocele is very simple. It is varicose veins around the testicle. Just as many people as they get older get varicose veins around their legs, many can get varicose veins around the testicle. They are normally a series of several veins that take the blood from the testicle and return it to the body. These veins have one way valves in them so that when you sit up or stand up the blood does not run down with gravity toward the lowest area of the body.If these one way valves don't work then what you have essentially is a vein that is supposed to be a one way street that becomes a two way street. The blood then is allowed to pool around the testicle and can cause damage to the testicle and damage to the sperm production.
How is varicocele treated?
Vericocele is usually treated with surgery. It's a very tiny surgery, outpatient, where a doctor can go in microsurgically and block the veins, stop the abnormal flow of blood back down to the testicle. There are also a variety of other treatments. This can be done laparoscopically. It can also be done radiologically, through a procedure called embolization, where a doctor would go in with a little catheter through one of the big veins in the leg, and snake this catheter into the vein of the testicle and then block the vein from the inside. As opposed to doing it surgically, where you block it from the outside by putting a tie around it, here you put little balloons or coils in that cause the vein to clot off and stop the abnormal blood flow. What's been clear over the last few years is the best way to do this is microsurgically, because it offers the best results, the best chances of success, with the least amount of complications.
What is "oligospermia"?
Oligospermia is a term we use to describe low sperm count. So the World Health Organization came up with parameters for semen analysis that they call normal and it's a big range. For men, the range is anywhere from 2 million sperm per cc, up to over 12 million sperm per cc. So you can see that's a very large range. Any time the sperm count is consistently under 2 million we call that Oligospermia.
What is "azoospermia"?
PhAzoospermia is the term we use to describe the condition where there is no sperm present in the semen and this can be for a variety of different reasons. Number one, someone could be making sperm normally in his testicles but has a blockage so the sperm can't get out into the semen or number two, there can be a problem with sperm production in the testicles such that the man is making no sperm whatoever or very, very small amounts of sperm so small in fact that you don't see any sperm in the semen even though they are present in the testicle. The good thing about azoospermia is that the majority of men can now become fathers through in vitro fertilization or through correction of blockages whereas ten or fifteen years ago this was an impossibility. So reproductive technology has advanced so much in the last ten years that very few men can no longer be genetic fathers.
Male infertility is actually quite common. Of all the people trying to conceive that have been unable to do so, approximatley 40% of the cases are responsible in some way to the man. One out of every 8-10 couples experiences difficulties trying to conceive, so if half of those cases are related to the man, then you're talking to 5-10% of the male population may have trouble conceiving with his wife, which is exceptionally common.
What causes infertility in men?
There's a large number of causes or reasons for a man to experience fertility problems. One of the most common things is something called a varicocele, which are varicose veins around the testicle. Other issues could be obstruction or blockages in the reproductive tract. There could be hormonal issues. It could be issues with age, it could be issues with environmental toxin exposure, with heat exposure, with chemicals, with drugs, with prior surgeries. There are a numerous variety of things that can cause damage to the sperm. We are still learning every day about all the different things that can cause fertility problems for men.
What causes blockage of sperm?
There are numerous things that can cause blockage of sperm or blockage of the reproductive track. You can be born with a blockage, a condition called congenital absence of the vas deferens, meaning being born without the spermduct or tube called a “vas,” that a doctor cuts when he performs a vasectomy. The testicles make sperm as normal but the sperm can't be released because there is no tube or no "plumbing" so to speak. Another issue that can cause blockage of the sperm tube is a vasectomy; which is designed to cause a blockage so that a man can't impregnate a woman. He might later change his mind and decide he wants to conceive again. There are issues such as infection, chlamydia and gonorrhea for example, that can cause blockages to the reproductive tract. There can be cysts or disorders of the prostate that also can cause blockages for sperm, so there are numerous things that may cause an obstruction.
What is "varicocele"?
A varicocele is very simple. It is varicose veins around the testicle. Just as many people as they get older get varicose veins around their legs, many can get varicose veins around the testicle. They are normally a series of several veins that take the blood from the testicle and return it to the body. These veins have one way valves in them so that when you sit up or stand up the blood does not run down with gravity toward the lowest area of the body.If these one way valves don't work then what you have essentially is a vein that is supposed to be a one way street that becomes a two way street. The blood then is allowed to pool around the testicle and can cause damage to the testicle and damage to the sperm production.
How is varicocele treated?
Vericocele is usually treated with surgery. It's a very tiny surgery, outpatient, where a doctor can go in microsurgically and block the veins, stop the abnormal flow of blood back down to the testicle. There are also a variety of other treatments. This can be done laparoscopically. It can also be done radiologically, through a procedure called embolization, where a doctor would go in with a little catheter through one of the big veins in the leg, and snake this catheter into the vein of the testicle and then block the vein from the inside. As opposed to doing it surgically, where you block it from the outside by putting a tie around it, here you put little balloons or coils in that cause the vein to clot off and stop the abnormal blood flow. What's been clear over the last few years is the best way to do this is microsurgically, because it offers the best results, the best chances of success, with the least amount of complications.
What is "oligospermia"?
Oligospermia is a term we use to describe low sperm count. So the World Health Organization came up with parameters for semen analysis that they call normal and it's a big range. For men, the range is anywhere from 2 million sperm per cc, up to over 12 million sperm per cc. So you can see that's a very large range. Any time the sperm count is consistently under 2 million we call that Oligospermia.
What is "azoospermia"?
PhAzoospermia is the term we use to describe the condition where there is no sperm present in the semen and this can be for a variety of different reasons. Number one, someone could be making sperm normally in his testicles but has a blockage so the sperm can't get out into the semen or number two, there can be a problem with sperm production in the testicles such that the man is making no sperm whatoever or very, very small amounts of sperm so small in fact that you don't see any sperm in the semen even though they are present in the testicle. The good thing about azoospermia is that the majority of men can now become fathers through in vitro fertilization or through correction of blockages whereas ten or fifteen years ago this was an impossibility. So reproductive technology has advanced so much in the last ten years that very few men can no longer be genetic fathers.
How To Bring Sexy Back To Your Relationship
As many as 20 percent of married couples are having sex less than once a month. Here's how to bring sexy back to your relationship or marriage.
There are ways to keep your marital sex life alive and thriving and it doesn't even take a lot of work - but it does take some focused attention and desire.
The way to turn your husband on is through direct stimulation and being totally into it. Men love making love to a woman who's loving what she's receiving.
Women are the opposite. You've got to start slow and be patient because timing is everything. You don't go direct to the spot that you know turns her on; you elude to it a little bit because that opens your wife up to want it a little bit more.
Let her know how much you appreciate her. Because women are really turned on when they feel valued and appreciated.
Don't talk about mundane things: kids, money, work, chores, household things. It's about romance, bringing out the lover in you.
Friday, July 25, 2008
How To Elope Without Offending Family And Friends
So you've decided to elope. Good for you! But that doesn't mean you want to hurt your family and friends or that you want to start your life together by making the special people in your life mad. The good news is, you don't have to. Elope the right way with VideoJug's guide to eloping without pissing anyone off.
Step 1:
Should You Tell?
You know your friends and family, so you should know if they'll take it better if you elope in secret or if you tell them first. Eloping used to always be a big secret - couples usually only eloped if someone objected to the match or if the bride was pregnant - but in recent years, eloping has become a way for couples to get married without having a big, traditional wedding. More likely than not, your friends and family will be happy for you, so if there is no reason not to, consider telling a few chosen people before the ceremony takes place. That way, you can even change your mind about eloping if it upsets anyone too much.
Step 2:
Public Or Private?
Eloping has come such a long way that, increasingly, couples don't do it alone anymore. Sometimes, they invite a few close family members or friends along. Eloping becomes almost like a mini-wedding, and as weddings get bigger and more elaborate, a tiny ceremony with fewer expectations surrounding it can be the ideal compromise for an engaged couple. Ask yourselves if you're dead set on eloping alone, or if you might want to expand the circle and include your parents, immediate family, or best friends. Sometimes, bringing a few people along makes the whole thing smoother.
Step 3:
Share The Joy
Just because you're not having a big wedding doesn't mean that you shouldn't celebrate. People who care about you will be happy for you, and will want to share in your joy. Consider having a party after you elope so that everyone gets a chance to wish you well. It can be as simple as you like, but even if it's elaborate, it almost definitely won't be as expensive as a wedding. As an added bonus, unlike with a wedding, you probably won't have to limit the guest list as much, and you're not as likely to create tension around any cultural, economic, stylistic or religious differences between the families.
Step 4:
Make Everyone Feel Special
Make the special people in your life feel special. Call them after you elope and let them know that you're married. Or send announcements. Make sure that people know that you're thinking of them and that you're looking forward to having them be a part of your life as a married couple. They'll appreciate it, and you'll start your life together on the right foot.
How To Survive A Divorce
Getting a divorce is a traditionally difficult thing to do. We at VideoJug are here to help. Keep watching to find the smoothest and least expensive way to separate from your partner. How to survive a divorce and remain happy.
Step 1:
Get a Lawyer
The best way to find a reliable lawyer is by recommendation. Failing that, talk to either The Law Society or Resolution, who will be able to point you in the direction of a reputable lawyer in your area.
Step 2:
Behave Responsibly
Bickering, fighting and name-calling won't help. Your long-term goal should be to get through your divorce and emerge at the other end so you can get on with your life.
Step 3:
Fill in your forms properly
The paperwork for a divorce can be a real headache, but it's worth doing, and worth doing properly. If you're at all unsure what you need to do, consult your lawyer, this'll help avoid problems further down the line.
Step 4:
Think of the children
Getting a divorce is a trying time for you, but even more so for any children involved. Try to keep them up-to-date on the proceedings, but don't let them witness the messy fallout.
Step 5:
Stay positive
Finally, appreciate that this is a difficult time for you. Try to think positively, take time out if you need it, and understand that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
What To Do When Your Friend Gets Divorced
Step 1:
Don't make judgements
When your friend first tells you they are getting divorced, it may come as a shock. Don't jump to any conclusions and never take sides. Whether they anticipated the divorce or not, or even if they initiated it, they will need a strong network of friends to see them through the coming months. Be prepared for some long hours on the phone.
Step 2:
Take the initiative
Particularly if your friend is badly affected by the break-up, they might not feel able to approach people for help. Don't say things like, “call me if you need me” as this relies on them initiating. Instead, make the first move. Phone them or pop round. Even if they don't need practical help with anything in particular, some company will help to bring things into perspective for them.
Step 3:
Legal Help
Divorce is a legal matter, so the first thing your friend needs to do is to seek legal advice. Doing this as early as possible will help to make the process easier. Even if they think they are too emotional to cope with this, encourage them towards an expert family law solicitor. If they are concerned about the expense, encourage them to get assessed for Legal Aid. For help finding an expert family law solicitor, visit www.divorceaid.co.uk
Step 4:
Attend the appointment
Because divorce is an emotional issue, it can be useful to have the company of someone with a clear head in the solicitor's office. Offer to attend the appointment with your friend, and take a notebook and pen so that you can make notes on their behalf.
Step 5:
Household help
Divorce can be similar to bereavement. Your friend will need time to grieve the death of their marriage before they can look to the future. During this time, you can help out by offering to cook for them or looking after the children occasionally. Although they may want to spend a lot of time on their own, encourage them to socialise a little. Invite them round for dinner with your family or some trusted friends.
Step 6:
Life without their partner
Your friend will need to start adjusting to their new life without their partner. If they are struggling, ask them what they used to enjoy doing before they were married. Encourage them to pick up old hobbies, and perhaps join a sports team or a club together. This will be a great way of rediscovering themselves and making new friends.
Step 7:
Dating
You might be keen for your friend to start dating again, but let them take it at their own pace. Avoid the temptation to set them up with blind dates, and instead help them to meet people in a safe environment. If you have a wonderful single friend who they simply must meet, arrange a group event so they don't have to be alone together too soon. On the other hand, if your friend appears too keen to start dating again, encourage them to hold back for a while and take it slowly. They might not feel like it, but it will be healthy for them to have some time and space to readjust to life outside of marriage.
Recovering from a divorce can be a long process, so let your friend take it at their own pace. With the help of a few good friends they will be able to come to terms with their divorce and move on with their life.
Further Help
www.divorceaid.co.uk is a voluntary group providing practical, emotional and legal support for those going through a divorce. Visit their website for more information.
How To Get Your Man Back
How To Get Your Man Back
If you've recently split up with your guy, but know you should be together, follow our advice on how to get him back.
If you wanted vengeance that probably means you shouldn't be together.
You sure you're just not jealous of other women he's with?
Find out what he wants.
Get some time apart,
Get some perspective, reflect on things.
Don't let your looks go
Don't keep calling him
Keep it light and casual. Don't wanna pressure him with a date.
Don't sleep with someone else on the rebound
Apologise for your part in the break-up
Thursday, July 24, 2008
How To Know If You Are Ready To Have Sex
Starting intimate relationships with a person you like is a serious choice. However the first step may leave some room for thinking over. The decision you make about your first time can have a crucial effect not only on your relationships but on your whole future life, leaving whether sad or pleasant emotions.
Steps
1. Define the stage of your relationship with your partner. Do you know this person well enough? Are you open with each other? First time sex may turn out to be not so smooth and pleasant. The person with whom you are going to have first time sex will leave memories which are not likely to fade. Is this a person you'll want to forget or will this interlude recall pleasant emotions later ?
2. Put your values in order. Ask yourself what pushes you to have sex with this person: curiosity, desire or wish to prove to everyone you are mature enough. The consequences of your first sexual experience will most probably reflect those reasons. Thus, if you want to look mature in the eyes of your peers, you probably will, although you might not feel any change in yourself.
3. Discuss sex-related topics. This may seem intimidating at first, but is very helpful in getting to know the other person better. Besides it may give you some idea on what to expect from your first sexual experience. Talk about sex related topics so sex will be a comfortable topic between you and your partner.
4. Imagine the whole process. Once you had your imaginary first time experience scrolled in your head, you will realize it is not so scary and you have plenty time at your disposal to make it just great.
5. Ask yourself again and again if you're ready, and remember that you can stop anytime you feel uncomfortable with your partner.
Tips
* Some people feel conflicted about having sex before marriage. If your beliefs tell you to avoid sexual activity, consider the decision carefully.
* Remember that sex can strengthen a relationship, but it won't bring two strangers closer. Sexual satisfaction is not all about techniques and experience. Focus on finding a careful partner who respects your feelings rather than on having a perfect performance.
* Losing virginity shouldn't be a goal in itself, but rather a part of a good and satisfying relationship.
* Don't think of your first time sex as an exam you have to pass. This will increase tension and uneasiness. Keep in mind that in case something goes wrong, you can always put off sex and simply be affectionate to each other.
* If you are worried about "getting caught" you are almost certainly too young. The most difficult time to have sex you won't regret later is the time when you aren't mature enough to make the decision.
* If you're not old enough but your partner is, in the US it is legally considered "statutory rape" which in many places carries the same penalty as any other form of rape. This applies regardless of which one is over the age of consent and which one is under. However, it is generally a lot harder to discover and unless someone (such as a parent) finds out, any charges or attempt at charges are rare
* Get familiar with information about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy. Having good sexual relationships is secondary to having good sexual health. Thus take responsibility for your own health and have contraceptives (i.e. condom) handy.
* If you're this worried and confused, DON'T DO IT!
Warnings
* Having sex can result in pregnancy. Be sure to practice safe sex and use contraception to prevent this.
* Don't make use of alcohol or drugs to reduce fear or anxiety. Being under the influence could cloud your perceptions as well as your judgment.
* Do not have sex if you may not legally give consent to your partner. The legal ages vary across jurisdictions, so make sure you're not violating local ones - this will get the person in trouble.
* Be careful with your decision when you're very young, especially if you are a teenager. Many young people who simply jump into a sexual relationship wind up having their feelings deeply hurt.
Steps
1. Define the stage of your relationship with your partner. Do you know this person well enough? Are you open with each other? First time sex may turn out to be not so smooth and pleasant. The person with whom you are going to have first time sex will leave memories which are not likely to fade. Is this a person you'll want to forget or will this interlude recall pleasant emotions later ?
2. Put your values in order. Ask yourself what pushes you to have sex with this person: curiosity, desire or wish to prove to everyone you are mature enough. The consequences of your first sexual experience will most probably reflect those reasons. Thus, if you want to look mature in the eyes of your peers, you probably will, although you might not feel any change in yourself.
3. Discuss sex-related topics. This may seem intimidating at first, but is very helpful in getting to know the other person better. Besides it may give you some idea on what to expect from your first sexual experience. Talk about sex related topics so sex will be a comfortable topic between you and your partner.
4. Imagine the whole process. Once you had your imaginary first time experience scrolled in your head, you will realize it is not so scary and you have plenty time at your disposal to make it just great.
5. Ask yourself again and again if you're ready, and remember that you can stop anytime you feel uncomfortable with your partner.
Tips
* Some people feel conflicted about having sex before marriage. If your beliefs tell you to avoid sexual activity, consider the decision carefully.
* Remember that sex can strengthen a relationship, but it won't bring two strangers closer. Sexual satisfaction is not all about techniques and experience. Focus on finding a careful partner who respects your feelings rather than on having a perfect performance.
* Losing virginity shouldn't be a goal in itself, but rather a part of a good and satisfying relationship.
* Don't think of your first time sex as an exam you have to pass. This will increase tension and uneasiness. Keep in mind that in case something goes wrong, you can always put off sex and simply be affectionate to each other.
* If you are worried about "getting caught" you are almost certainly too young. The most difficult time to have sex you won't regret later is the time when you aren't mature enough to make the decision.
* If you're not old enough but your partner is, in the US it is legally considered "statutory rape" which in many places carries the same penalty as any other form of rape. This applies regardless of which one is over the age of consent and which one is under. However, it is generally a lot harder to discover and unless someone (such as a parent) finds out, any charges or attempt at charges are rare
* Get familiar with information about STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) and pregnancy. Having good sexual relationships is secondary to having good sexual health. Thus take responsibility for your own health and have contraceptives (i.e. condom) handy.
* If you're this worried and confused, DON'T DO IT!
Warnings
* Having sex can result in pregnancy. Be sure to practice safe sex and use contraception to prevent this.
* Don't make use of alcohol or drugs to reduce fear or anxiety. Being under the influence could cloud your perceptions as well as your judgment.
* Do not have sex if you may not legally give consent to your partner. The legal ages vary across jurisdictions, so make sure you're not violating local ones - this will get the person in trouble.
* Be careful with your decision when you're very young, especially if you are a teenager. Many young people who simply jump into a sexual relationship wind up having their feelings deeply hurt.
How To Impress Your Date
mpressing your date doesn't require you to spend a lot of money. It does require the right frame of mind, and the right approach.
Step 1:
Don't Be Nervous
Dating can make people nervous - and nobody looks good when they're nervous. Communication psychologist Lillian Glass offers some simple advice for you before you go on a date: take it easy. Relax. Take time to get ready for the date, so you look your best and feel confident.
Step 2:
It Is How You Look
Your expressions, eye movements and body language can all help make your date feel great. Avoid staring into someone's eyes. Look at their entire face instead. Lean in to show interest. Smile.
Step 3:
It's Not About You
Bragging, talking about your problems or hogging the conversation are sure ways to turn somebody off.
Step 4:
Keep It Light
Even if think you're in love… remember… it's just a date. Don't push it. Always leave them wanting more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
