What To Do When Your Friend Gets Divorced

Step 1:
Don't make judgements
When your friend first tells you they are getting divorced, it may come as a shock. Don't jump to any conclusions and never take sides. Whether they anticipated the divorce or not, or even if they initiated it, they will need a strong network of friends to see them through the coming months. Be prepared for some long hours on the phone.
Step 2:
Take the initiative
Particularly if your friend is badly affected by the break-up, they might not feel able to approach people for help. Don't say things like, “call me if you need me” as this relies on them initiating. Instead, make the first move. Phone them or pop round. Even if they don't need practical help with anything in particular, some company will help to bring things into perspective for them.
Step 3:
Legal Help
Divorce is a legal matter, so the first thing your friend needs to do is to seek legal advice. Doing this as early as possible will help to make the process easier. Even if they think they are too emotional to cope with this, encourage them towards an expert family law solicitor. If they are concerned about the expense, encourage them to get assessed for Legal Aid. For help finding an expert family law solicitor, visit www.divorceaid.co.uk
Step 4:
Attend the appointment
Because divorce is an emotional issue, it can be useful to have the company of someone with a clear head in the solicitor's office. Offer to attend the appointment with your friend, and take a notebook and pen so that you can make notes on their behalf.
Step 5:
Household help
Divorce can be similar to bereavement. Your friend will need time to grieve the death of their marriage before they can look to the future. During this time, you can help out by offering to cook for them or looking after the children occasionally. Although they may want to spend a lot of time on their own, encourage them to socialise a little. Invite them round for dinner with your family or some trusted friends.
Step 6:
Life without their partner
Your friend will need to start adjusting to their new life without their partner. If they are struggling, ask them what they used to enjoy doing before they were married. Encourage them to pick up old hobbies, and perhaps join a sports team or a club together. This will be a great way of rediscovering themselves and making new friends.
Step 7:
Dating
You might be keen for your friend to start dating again, but let them take it at their own pace. Avoid the temptation to set them up with blind dates, and instead help them to meet people in a safe environment. If you have a wonderful single friend who they simply must meet, arrange a group event so they don't have to be alone together too soon. On the other hand, if your friend appears too keen to start dating again, encourage them to hold back for a while and take it slowly. They might not feel like it, but it will be healthy for them to have some time and space to readjust to life outside of marriage.
Recovering from a divorce can be a long process, so let your friend take it at their own pace. With the help of a few good friends they will be able to come to terms with their divorce and move on with their life.
Further Help
www.divorceaid.co.uk is a voluntary group providing practical, emotional and legal support for those going through a divorce. Visit their website for more information.