Tantric Sex - A Different Perspective

Many of us were trained before we became disabled or in adolescence that sex entails excitement that grows more and more intense pending it outcome in a pinnacle. The goal is commonly seen as orgasm and the publish of pent-up sexual tension.

We academic about sex in a customs that treats it as sinful and unspeakable, yet uses a medicinal pattern to precise it. According to the remedial mode of sex and orgasm, a buildup of burly tension leads to an uttermost, followed by relief--ejaculation for men and contractions of the muscles surrounding the vagina for women. Since what science can amount is primarily animal in quality, orgasm is seen mainly seen as an autonomic reflex, a measly paroxysm of genital contractions.

The remedial mode doesnt work for all of us. When our disabilities are accompanied with loss of genital sensation, narrow travel or failure to ejaculate or have genital contractions, we may feel like bountiful up. The sexual pleasure we learned about, or, once knew has become inaccessible.

Tantric sex--based on the esoteric teachings of some eastern religions--provides an alternative way to experience sexual pleasure and give new gist to a loving relationship. Tantric orgasm is counterintuitive to the remedial shape. In Tantra, excitement is just the start very than the means to the end. Instead of rushing about a height, a Tantric practitioner slows down, residual in the flash, and travels near pressing relaxation. In the checkup shape, sexual energy builds, then is forlorn. In Tantra, energy is not bemused but gained. Instead of with a partner for ones own gratification, Tantric partners provide vital energy to one another.

Sex Transformed
Ray Stubbs, sexuality tutor, writer, massage therapist and a literally topical quadriplegic, has spontaneous orgasms while meditating despite his injury and describes overjoyed experiences I can only hope to soon achieve. He has printed numerous books, the hottest being The Essential Tantra: A Modern Guide to Sacred Sexuality.

Stubbs' extraordinary experiences do not arise in a vacuum. They result many living of conscious seeking and analysis with Tantric teachers and Native American shamans. He has also able and taught contemporary meditation as massage that embraces sexual energy.

Gary Karp, a paraplegic and the creator of Life On Wheels, also has a pursuit in Tantric sex. He says that after his injury, a book on Tantra prompted him to believe that "standard" orgasm might not all it's cracked up to be. He particularly liked the Tantric training that two "energetically appropriate" lovers have complimentary polarities. "Making dear," says Karp, "is an act of fulfillment and bonding for each person on an extreme, evolutionary and native spiritual raze."

Stubbs' connection is with the divine; Karp's is with the other. Both approaches are spiritual. In detail, Tantra is not about sex at all. It is about transcendence. Although the outcome of Tantric sex may be prolonged sexual pleasure, that is not the goal. Sex is a vehicle. Sex is transformed into dear, love into meditation, to light, to data of the divine, to high, to bliss. According to Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh's Tantra, Spirituality and Sex --my first exposure to Tantra many living ago--once you know that bliss, you are stuck in actuality. The veracity is that in bass sexual orgasm, it is not sex that gives you bliss. Once again, sex is only the vehicle. Something also is generating the elation, the frenzy. That something also, according to Rajneesh, can be divided into three elements--timelessness, egolessness and being relaxed. These are the components that engender pleasure and bliss.

I know all this might sound weird or minimally trite, but take with me. Even Tantric teachers say that training and experience must precede belief. Transcendence comes through experience, not through ideology. My challenge to you is too open to think of sexual pleasure and orgasm in a different way.

In the Moment
For a Tantric orgasm to appear, there is no require for an erect up of sexual tension, for friction, for ejaculation or for burly contractions. In truth, there is no ought for sex at all once you have discovered that orgasm can be an intensely relaxing meditation, a ceremony combining Rajneeshs three components of timelessness, egolessness and being normal. When you are enduring you are in the jiffy, not comparing to onwards experience or focusing on coming expectations. When you are egoless, you become one with your partner or the universe, not an individual limited by bodily disability or unhelpful view. When you are in your untreated noble, in the terms of Rajneesh, "The illusory is helpless; the veneer, the face, is puzzled; the union, the ethos, the civilization is mystified. You are part of nature--as grass are, animals are, stars are. You are in a greater something--the universe."

Still look far-fetched? Well thought this. Drs. Beverly Whipple, Gina Ogden and Barry Komisaruk have shown in laboratory studies at Rutgers University that lady can have orgasms through fantasy lonely, lacking any rude stimulation. Some of the women's orgasms were not associated with genital contractions. Still doubtful? Think this only applies to nondisabled women? My fresh inquiries with men and women with spinal twine injuries documents experiences that were identified as orgasm by the participants but could scarcely be described as checkup-ideal orgasms. While some participants still experienced traditional orgasms, others--of both sexes--said their orgasms happened "by startle." There was not the typical buildup of beefy tension, yet rapturous feelings occurred in their heads or intact bodies, even for those with no sensation below their demolish of injury. Is your wits launch to open to new possibilities?

Getting Started
Stubbs writes in his book The Essential Tantra that Tantra is really the ideas of acceptance and nonattachment. When we grasp for something, we are close. There's no frankness. When we preclude something, we are attached. There's no looseness. It is through the acceptance of all as it is that we become released. Acceptance is neither submission nor giving up. Here, acceptance means nonattachment. What does that mean for us? It means accepting ourselves as we are and letting go of preconceived notions of sex and orgasm. It means right attentive of the feelings and sensations that we do have, devious as they may look at first. In whole acceptance, in nonattachment, there is transformation.

Stubbs warns us not to get wedged up in the mainstream medias sensationalization of Tantra that has packaged it as a royal path to sexual pleasure. The essence of Tantra is not having sex in a particular outlook or prolonging intercourse. The frank thing, says Rajneesh, is the ability to relax, to let go, to transform the unrefined into a meditative experience. It is attentiveness to sensations, mindfulness, being in the offer. Stubbs remarks that when we can transform energy at will, we are activists.

For me, a casual student, Tantra is a way of tapping into my fine energy body that I had been attentive of but unable to express. It has provided another way for my husband, Cheryl, and I to defer sexually and spiritually connected in those times between what many would submit to as ordinary sex.

Mastering Tantra takes many being of revision and routine. All of us, however, can begin to pick repayment of this sacred perspective by practicing a few unadorned exercises that can be incorporated into our everyday lives.
* Raise your awareness that you are a conscious being. If you are accustomed to taxing a watchdog on your left wrist, sport it on your right. Every time you go to impede the time on your left wrist instead of the right, say "I am a conscious being."
* Focus on your breathing. Most of us are shallow breathers. Deep relaxation begins with deeper breathing. Whenever you happen through a door, repress your breathing. Take a good rumbling breath if you can, unite it and exhale entirely. Later you can learn to tone these three stages of breathing.
* To get a better feeling of your energy body, focus on the palm of your right hand. Notice the sensations. Then focus on the palm of your left hand. Switch the focus back and onward. Then slowly move your hands together awaiting they almost stroke. Pay close notice to the changes and what you feel between your palms. If you don't have sensation in your hands than focus on one ear, then the other. Then move or have someone else move your palm within an edge or so of your ear. You will see that your energy body extends previous your physical body.
* To enhance your awareness of mounting sensations, brake down when youre drinking. Truly flavor the food and soda. Notice the surface and temperature. Keep follow of the sensations as the food travels down your gullet. I do this with ginger juice first thing in the morning.

Practice is necessary as we relearn habits to experience the extensive energy of our bodies. According to Stubbs, sensuality, sexuality and spirituality begin with ourselves. They are all within us.

Barriers to these experiences during sex compose concentrating too much on performance and not enough on sensations, judging others, making comparisons with the past to invalidate the display, and focusing on expectations instead of the wealth open in the jiffy.

To overcome these barriers, let go of expectations. If you are the receiver, let go of attachments to outcomes. If you are the giver, let go of performance expectations. Allowing, very than pushy, is the key to acknowledge that we are not sure by the checkup model of orgasm.